It's been one of those weeks. A week that has seen the world landscape change for the greater good, hopefully. Much to "Millwall Mobster" Steven Patrick Morrissey's delight American voted correctly and much to oor delight Celtic scored a goal in the Big Cup. Hurrah!!!!!

Matchday 4 produced some strange results. Roma beating The Chelsea Chavs, Bordeaux beating the richmans plaything FC Cluj, Anorthosis drawing wie Internazionale and FC Basel drawing wie Barca. It gave us hope for the visit of Team USA Utd. For us to get a result we had to tear ladyboy C-Ron limb from limb and feed him to the 'He-Wolf's' that roam the Campsies. We had to make El Paradiso hell for them.

It made the meeja's joab easier. They talk up the mythical Celtic Park atmosphere every single home game we play in the Big Cup. Tickets are sold on the back of this hype. People come from all over the globe to visit the beast of CP in the Big Cup. Yesterday, Celtic Park was turned into Euro Disney for fitba' fans.

The stage-managed product that Celtic put on is 2nd to none. Last night, we had some skinny bloke singing opera and I could hear the 'Auld Jungle' turning in it's grave when he started belting oot his dirge. The 'Auld Jungle' would have been also turning in his grave at the sight of 'Celtic fans' down the front of the stand trying to get autographs and taking pictures of Man Utd players.

I know this is just Murdochism at play. But.....we should have been making the Man Utd players feeling as unwelcome as a Hun in Manchester. The amount of half and half Celtic/Man Utd scarfs round necks also was a sickening sight.

If you want to see Ronaldo and Co go to the Trafford Ball Park. If you want to see them get brought doon a peg or two come to Celtic Park and shout and scream at the Bhoys in The Hoops as they do it.

Still, the banners are a joy. Only Liverpool in this country can match us on that front. The stage-managed PA tells us when and what to sing, new favourite is "Let The People Sing", a bastardised version from some chancers called The Malleys.

Once the PA goes quiet so does the crowd for long spells wieoot a tour guide like PA prompt to tell us when to sing. Last night, the off the cuff "Let The People Sing" after 82mins, which inspired Man Utd to score was the only time the spirit of the 'Auld Jungle" was alive and well. But Celtic by this time had another perfect Big Cup night to bum aboot and promote as the must have experience when trying to punt tickets.

Still, I can wonder what the stadium would be like if we had 60,000 singing instead of the usual 30,000 wie the other 30,000 too busy filming and taking pictures. Roll on Villarreal. We might get a few thousand who are interested in Celtic as some who were there last night will be Sky Tv upped watching Man Utd against Aalborg BK.

A 1-1 Humping.

You can't fault the effort, the energy, the pride or the sheer guts of the players last night. Oor manager quite rightly said: "You cannot play like that if you are not men". True, we dragged Man Utd down to oor level in the first half and they did not fancy it one little bit. They had to bring on the big guns to salvage a point but by that time we had run oor race.

"I tried to keep Scott McDonald, our most experienced striker on, but that wasn't possible so I had to go with my 7th choice striker and play 3 centre backs" huffed oor manager when trying to explain the 9-1-0 formation employed in the second half, a formation last seen scaring half decent mobs roond Govan way. The Strachan-naccio hopefully got it's one and only airing.

The manager while being happy wie the performance hit the nail on the heid. The nail that will bug Celtic fans from now to the end of time. "Trust me, if we had our full team, it would have been a far better game". Yes, we would have been able to make the changes that maybe would have seen us threaten the half way line in the second half and wouldn't have made oor performance in that period the most cringeworthy and frought in oor Big Cup history. I don't think I have EVER seen a mair one-sided second period. Oor players played wie guts but we can play wie more style.

So, if yer oot from behind the couch here is the stats. Celtic has 33% possession and 3 shots on goal and 3 shots wide. Man Utd had 8 shots on goal and 10 shots off, which is better than the 26 off target figure the big screen gave last night. They almost had double the possession as well and only the most bitter man would say they didnae deserve their point at least.

It is gutting to lose a goal as late in the game. After taking the lead through a cracking goal from Scott McDonald, an Artur Boruc gaff allowed Ryan Giggs, who forgot that we paid for his retirement, to score an equaliser. The most disappointing thing is the feeling that if we didnae have 7 first team players suffering from Hessellinkitis then we might have got all 3 points.

Bottomline? The boiler suits of the group will battle it oot for a UEFA Vase place while Man Utd get measured for an Armani get up for a possible trip to Rome in May. Point was decent right enough then.

A Motherwell Hangover.

We will suffer one. Motherwell arrive at CP on Saturday looking to make it 2 wins in a row in Glesga's East End.

They are on a decent run of form that has seen them win 4 out of the last 5. Chris Porter seems to be on-fire wie 3 goals in his last 2 games. Celtic are unbeaten domestically in 7 and are scoring and creating chances, which is at odds wie oor European form and also at odds wie oor injury crisis.

Who plays is dependant on who is not suffering from 'Running-after-better-players-ouch'. Oor midfield worked their wee hoopy socks off and up front Cillian Sheridan and Scott McDonald chased and harried all night wie not much success. How we lift oorselves after Man Utd is the major problem in this game.

The managers golden notebook might be thinking changes. Massimo Donati might be looking to his first league start this season alongside Scott Brown. Paul Hartley will maybe get the chance to wear a warm tracksuit but how a couple of the unmagnificent 7 recover from their respective Hessellinkisms will surely shape the managers thinking.

Will Naka be seen after his Killie-Ouch episode? Is it true the Holy Goalie is now oot for a month wie dodgy-keeper-knee-ouch? Remember, remember the last time he was oot for a length of time?

Ex-Playerism? Skippy. 2 goals against his former club since he made a move to the guid guys. Jim O'Brien has struggled for games and form since his move to the junior darkside.

Shaun Maloney has 3 Celtic career goals against Motherwell including one already this season. What makes this game hard to predict is oor injuries and how up for it we are. Motherwell on a decent run are a decent side but us fully focused and wie a full team are also a very decent side.

Ok, 2-1 victory. Scott Brown will score and, again, we will score from a set play just like we have done in the last 4 games.

Forza

Thanks to the Green Brigade and Number 7 from KDS for the pics.

Midweek Diddy Cup ties are usually as welcome as a ansaphone message from Russell Brand and Jonathon Woss. Ok, note all 27,000 that complained aboot this. GET A LIFE and goin' amuse yerself's watching Songs Of Praise and eating an apple tart.

Still, as Celtic safely passed by The 'Marnocks, we really did pass them to death, oor Big Cup foes, Villarreal, were getting papped 5-0 by Poli Ejido, which sounds like a sair STD, passed on by Russell Brand, who reside the Spanish 2nd Division B in Copa Del Reya.

After losing 3 goals against Aalborg BK, 4 goals against Athletico Madrid and now 5 against Poli Ejido, 3 teams that are gash, the Yellow Submarine don't look such a daunting prospect. In fact I will predict we might get a shot on goal and a few corners when we meet at El Paradiso in December.

3 And Easy For The Yellow Celts.

Celtic, in the most ghastly yellow kit seen since Hibs on Saturday, dispatched 3rd place The 'Marnocks wie embarressing ease last night. While it's always delightful to beat the future Scotland manager, Jim Jeffries, wie ease it also highlighted the problems we have on the bigger stage. See: Trafford Ballpark last week. 

A reader of this blog said on hearing the team line up that it was dodgy, lacked presense and that he liked a 'bigman' up front. While, revealing too much aboot readers of this blog sexual preferances, he was correct as we looked poor wieoot the ball but good wie it. A John Barnes 4-2-2-2 formation seemed to be the formation wie Aiden McGeady and Nakamura being given floating roles and the fullbacks being told to overlap and give us width.

It worked. Goals from Scott McDonald, a trademark freekick from Nakamura and a goal of the season contender from Aiden McGeady made sure we get The Huns in the semi-final and a chance to lay the ghost of Bert Konterman to rest.

Still, The 'Marnocks did their best to try and kick us off the park. After 25mins, future Scotland manager, Jim Jeffries, made a change and brought on Gavin Skelton. His remit? Boot Nakamura. He did 4 or 5 times in the space of 7 or 8 mins. Nakamura was promptly booked by Craig Thomson who was last nights M.I.B for pointing this oot to him.

Oor manager, not in jest, said: "It was crazy he was the one that got booked" and Celtic Captain and MOTM, Gary Caldwell, also waded in wie: "He was dominating the game by getting on the ball"- that is open to question, I thought McGeady was the main thorn-"They tried to stop him by kicking him and it's up to the referee to sort that out but he didn't"

Getting kicked and being physical is part of the game. But being OTT about it is not. The fact is after his treatment in the first period Nakamura did not return for the 2nd and is now doubtful for Sunday's game wie knee-ouch.

Still the manager was happy. "I am happy that we got through and also happy about the performance against the team who are 3rd in the league and were desperate to beat us. We handled everything tonight"

The performances of Scott Brown, Aiden McGeady and Scott McDonald, whom unlike some can score against top 6 clubs in the SPL made us happy Hoops going into Sunday's game against Hearts of Lithuania.

Celtic Scout Belts Chico

It has come to light that some of the most useless faces in the Scottish public domain had a game of fitba' against each other last Sunday. The game against so-called Politicians and so-called Sports writers ended when lifelong Hun St.Mirren fan, Chic Young was, what as known in the game as being 'Sounessed' by the MSP for Scotland and mid Fife, John Park. This lead to handbags at 10 paces and the game being abandoned.

I think, I speak for EVERY Celtic fan here when I say well done Mr Park but.....shouldnae you be looking for a left back?

The Streets Of Philadelphia.

This story came to LoTW when he was flicking through The Wall Street Journal checking on his stocks and shares. The Philadelphia Eagles, The Huns of the NFL or could that Buffalo Billys?, have decided to keep their notorious patrons, see the patrons of Philly celebrations when they won the recent rounders American Championship- World Series ma arse- under a watchful eye by coming up wie a system that allows you to shop a rowdy fan by TEXT MESSAGE.

You simply text yer section, seat number and security will arrive and eject the arsehole. Leonard Bonacci director of events at The Eagles said: "I have 3000 people on my staff but with texting I have 70,000 eyes".

We hear that The Huns are going to bring this system in regarding the singing of The Famine Song. You, Simply The Best, text yer seat number, section and the word FAMINE to "Rangers1690" and some polis will comedoon and lift you.

LoTW thinks it will be a great sucess.

A Trip To The Tynecastle Flats.

Sunday sees us going to the city that read this blog the most outside London. They never comment right enough. Anyway the soon to be demolished Tynecastle sees Celtic take the best away record in Scotland this season to take on another one of Romanov's puppets, this time in the shape of Csaba Laszlo.

He seems to have Hearts going ok. There record of W4 D2 L4 is an improvement on last season and they have only dropped 4 points at home all season. But.....wie no wins in 4 games, D2 and L2 means that we should be going into this as favourites.

Oor managers record at the Tynecastle Flats is so, so. W2 D1 L2 wie oor last visit being one of the worst games of last season and a 1-1 draw after Celtic Captain, Gary Caldwell, gave away a soft penalty. Mick McManus and the injured Jan Vennegoor of Hesslelink are the main Littlehunskelpers wie 3 goals each but the improving Scott McDonald scored on his last visit.

Wie injuries ruling oot Hesslelink (Hesslelinkitis), Samaras (Knee-Ouch), Crosas (Hammie-Ouch) and maybe Nakamura (Killie-Ouch), Robson and Hartley could be getting penciled in to the A4 Notebook for starting berth against what will be a robust test. Could the manager be tempted again to pitch in Craig Beattiealike Cillian Sheridan after Shaun Maloneys poor performance against The 'Marnocks?

Ex-Playerism, comes in the form of Paul Hartley. Since Hartley now gets a nosebleed when he goes over the halfway line and wie him only having 2 Celtic goals to his name then you will get a decent price for him scoring at anytime.

Still, as predicted on this very blog, we scored from a corner against The 'Marnocks- c'mon even though it wisnny a CB that scored I did say we are now dangerous from them and I did predict a 3-1 scoreline- and I can see this happening again. But.....Gary Caldwell will score from this. I fancy Skippy will score as well and we will win 3-1. Once again we wont keep a clean sheet.

That's it. It's over. The Hail Hails are open for comments. Thanks to Number 7 on KDS for the picture.

Forza

Wie monsoon season in full flight and canoes being the mode of transport at the moment it was pleasing to see that The Huns AGM produced moments not seen since Francie and Josey (dis)graced the Kings. While CQN went doon a Python route for LoTW it was mair Bert and Ernie.

It's Goodnight From Me and Goodnight From Him.

It's amusing to listen to Walter bemoan that since Scotland is now a prosporus wee country that no decent fitbawers are coming through. So, let's blame society for the failure of Murray Park. He said:

"This is the problem that we have in Scotland, that overall we are not producing the same number of players that we did 20 and 30 years ago, when, due to the level of poverty, all we ever did was play football."

So, let me think. Over the last 3 seasons, The Champions, us, have given the following players League Winners medals. Aiden McGeady, Shaun Maloney, Stephen Pearson, Mick McManus, Scott Brown, Craig Beattie, Mark Wilson and Derek Riordon. Sure there is mair but all these players came through either Celtic's youth system or another SPL teams youth system.

In the past couple of season Hibs and Motherwell have been lauded for their young players. There is talent out there. It's up to the clubs to identify that talent. But....have The Huns not got the Pele, Maradona and Ronaldo in John Fleck?

Another Waltergaff was soon forthcoming when a brethren bear complained aboot the virgin like bears getting booted off the park.

It's up to us to look after ourselves on the pitch but I'm not sure if we're aggressive enough at the moment in the manner in which we play. "Maybe in some cases we have to ensure retribution is taken out beforehand rather than waiting until afterwards."

Walter said wie a straight face. Auld age must be catching up on him. He has forgotten the fundemental rule of the 'Wattienaccio', which is to boot and ask questions later. Chunts like Charlie Adam, Kevin Thomson, Kirk Broadfoot and Sasa Papac are not in the team cause they are fitbawers. Does he not remember Daniel 'Elbows' Coosans performances in 2 derby games when he 'done' Mick wie an elbow then got sent off in an other for 4 or 5 elbow lead assults?

He also signed Lee McCulloch whose biggest assest was clobbering full backs wie forearm smashes in the name of the hun.

In the time of the credit crunch, Sir Minty then took to the horse and promised a retail moonbeam in Govan. Hotlels, housing and shops all paid for by an Icelandic Bank and mortgaged by Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac. He moonbeamed:

:"We are assured the plans will be approved by Glasgow Council and I believe they have a fair chance of succeeding in some shape or form - due to help going on in other areas of the city, may I say.

So, since 'Timmy' is getting a facelift we should get one too. It's it any wonder that wie their chairmen having an attitude like that they have a problem wie an 'minority'?

One Scotland, Many Cultures. Unless It's Irish.

James McCarthy and Aiden McGeady have choosen to play for the Republic Of Ireland. Due to SFA redtape and oversight these players feel mair welcome in the country of their grandparents. Still I was shocked to read this by an ex-Smash Hits editor, which widnae look oot of place in a BNP election leaflet.

So, James McCarthy disnny know his Granny and would have to trace his Irish routes. Funny, I have read him talking aboot his Grandparents being a major influence on him. If he thinks Aiden McGeady disnny get booed because he has chosen to play for Ireland but because he is Scottish and plays for them, then tell me why Brian McLean disnny get booed for being Scottish and playing for Norn Ireland?

Finally, it's 'common courtesy' to wait for the country off yer birth to pick you. Does that apply to Richard Gough, Stuart McCall, Andy Goram, Kriss Commons, Jay McElevey and Shaun Maloney?

Hail Hails are open for comments.

Forza

International weeks are as boring as a debate between John McCain and Barrack Obama. It makes you want to drink yer weight in Skullsplitter then go shooting pheasants wie a shotgun while shouting 'FREEDOM'. It also makes you wonder why an Ayrshire Authority would invest £15m in Icelandic Banks and how often The Mint will belt on about the minority.

Dead Rats And Letterboxes. 

News reaches us from the Barrhead News that Mike McCurry, the esteemed M.I.B, is planing to move from the toon. After years off, supposed, Novo type abuse- dead rats through letter boxes and smashed windows- he has put his 'plush' hoose up for sale. A Barrhead Insider, probably wee Aggie who was collecting her pension, said

“I heard last week that he is selling up because he is not popular with certain people in the town. I know that his windows have been smashed on a few occasions and he’s had quite a tough time over the years.”

..... So, he is not Simply The Best then. The inventor of the offside own goal surpassed himself this weekend when he awarded Hibs a penalty and sent off Celtic, Dundee Utd and Wolves reject Charlie Mulgrew in the process while missing that Steven Fletcher was at least 7 yards offside.

Still, wie stories aboot Novo, McGregor and now McCurry appearing this week it's hard not to smell a dead rat through a letterbox.

The Manager Has Been Great.

This has been the mantra coming from Celtic new bhoys this week. First up the impressive Marc Crosas has been talking about his conversion from a right-handed sided midfield player in a 4-3-3 to a defensive midfielder in a 4-4-2.....

"I am enjoying my role in front of the defence. At Barcelona we played 4-3-3 and I was on the right side of the central midfield area. With three central midfielders, one of the players has to be defensive all the time. With Celtic's 4-2 formation, two central players can take turns to make forward runs. So far, the manager has asked me to play in front of the defence mostly and that's good because I see the whole game ahead of me. I can take possession and make passes. I'm enjoying it. The manager has been great with me. He spoke to me about my performances. He has just said that he wants me to keep it up."

...he said while the rest of us were wondering why the manager once again buys a player and tries to change his style.

Next up was Glenn Loovens. The affable Dutchman did his best Sheve McLaren impression when he said..

"Mick and Gary are top players and it won't be easy to break up that partnership. But I've signed for four years at Celtic, that's a long time. The manager has been good with me, and I know what I have to do."

It's good that he say's that he is here for the long haul. His performance against Aberdeen was poor and then Mick McManus has decided to find a bit of form over the last 2 games. Also, Gary Caldwell can't be dropped as he is ghod.

Both say the managers, man-management has been good wie them. I suspect Chris Sutton, Alan Thompson, Bobo Balde, Charlie Mulgrew, David Marshall and Deek Riordon (Leithbawbagerus) would disagree.

Bertie Has A Book To Promote

Bertie Auld has a new book to promote, which means he has to come oot wie a soundbite. This is something Lisbon Lion legends seem guid at doing. Bertie and Tommy Gemmell seem to be the main rent a quotes blawhards when the auldtimers are asked to comment. Still it looks like Bertie agrees that we are oot the Big Cup....

"The UEFA Cup is more likely but the important thing is that Gordon Strachan and the players are still getting that experience of playing at a higher level, rather than just playing in the SPL. It's definitely not a consolation prize. The most important thing is learning and achieving something."

....which I agree wie. Playing UEFA Vase fitba' after Christmas is the least we require. We could have a decent wee run, draw dependant. But.....for the first time in eon's the UEFA Vase knockoot stages could be quite strong.

After agreeing wie Bertie he then goes and talks Boomsung.

"What we need now is entertainment, as well as winning trophies. We are just short of that a little bit. It's important that Gordon gets money to bring in an entertainer. We need that lift, someone who is going to change games, rather than just win games."

We need an entertainer in a team that contains Aiden McGeady, Shaun Maloney and Nakamura?

A Bhoy Called Bertie is oot now and I'm sure it might be worth a read or worth getting put on yer Santa list.

The World According to Peter McGuire Martin

I wouldnae usually gie Celtic Tv reject Peter the time of day. But he said something interesting today....

"In the next window, they should bid for James McArthur, Jamie McCarthy and Steven Fletcher. These three players are the best emerging talents in our game and may well go on to provide the spark the fans and Bertie crave. I have been told there's no way Celtic can throw millions of pounds at big-name players. Point taken. But with that in mind, take a leaf out of Jock Stein's book; sign the best young talent sitting right under your nose. I am led to believe wheels are already in motion."

....after watching James McCarthy on Saturday he didnae impress but the ROI coaches canny all be wrong. James McArthur I don't know much aboot and Steven Fletcher is IMO over-rated. But is this the road Celtic should be going doon? Would these guys entertain us like watching Robbie Williams exploding due to excess body fat would?

That's it over. Let's hope for a Scotland victory and Barty Crouch to score a goal for England.

Forza

I had to laugh this morning. Radio Tuecther announced that Kenny Miller was rumoured to be withdrawing from the Scotland squad, hence improving their chances of victory against Norway. No reason was given and I wondered if it was because he was just shite. Then I heard Iceland had went Bankrupt. I wondered what Kerry Katona and half of Easterhoose would now do for fish fingers.

It's depressing this credit crunch. Hunners of weans will be wieoot Crispy Pancakes and will get a visit from Jamie Oliver, which is a fate worse than being forced to eat a soiled nappy wieoot broon sauce. 

Barry Robson Oor New Left Back? Nae Chance 

....say's the man himself. Hurrah, say thousands off Celtic fans who have just recovered from the sight of Stephen Pearson play there a few seasons back. Robbo-Cop said..

“No, there's no new career unfolding for me, Lee injured his back and the manager just asked me to play in there."

...while hoping that the improving Lee Naylor's backache is not long term. Anyone who thinks Robson can do a joab for us at left back must also think Boris Johnson is a decent politician and not just an oaf.

He also said this aboot Georgios Samaras.....

"Big Samaras also scored again and he can be anything he wants to be when he gets going."

...can he be a hun-eating cyborg who morphs into a tractor, then a lorry and then a fire engine? Or can he be the new Henrick Larrsson as some, fuelled by alcohol, have been whispering in dark corners?

Around The World Wie Naka And Skippy.

Shunsuke Nakamura will travel 12,600 miles before he returns to Glesga next Friday. He will play 180 mins for Japan against UAE and Uzbekistan. The man from Japan states that...

"I expect to be available for Inverness. There is no reason why I should miss it. There is no reason for anyone to be concerned that I won’t be back for it. It is an honour to play for your country and an honour to play with Celtic."

...and this man lacks commitment?

That's nothing. Scott McDonald will travel a total of 21,000 miles for a wild wallaby shoot against Qatar next Wednesday. Plenty of time for Scott to munch family packs of M&M's until his heart is content.

Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight.

When the first nail was put in The Huns coffin last March when Jan Vennegoor scored in the 194th minute for us to claim a famous 2-1 victory. At the final whistle of that game, Nacho Novo, was so disraught at his latest death threat, that he tried banjo Aiden McGeady cause he blamed that wee republican for his trouble. Handbags ensued, which ended up wie Gary Caldwell and David Weir both getting red cards due to them enjoying some throat grabbing sexual gratification in a public place.

On Saturday both will line up together for Scotland in their meek defeat to Norway. David Weir (Auldfaithertimerus) mentions that him and Caldwell huvnae spoke since that night....

"I haven't actually spoken with Gary since the spot of trouble at the end of that O*d Fi*m game. I'm told he joked that we'd now have the chance to finish off the fight (sic),I'm sure we will and do that by shaking hands. I think both of us would agree our actions that night weren't the finest moments of our careers."

....no Gary Caldwells finest moment came a few weeks later at Tannadice. But...while we don't condone hitting OAP's I'm sure none of Timdom will be bothered if Caldwell knocks auldfaithertimerus into next week, then tells him Nacho is next.

The Paddy McCourt Benefit Game.

Celtic travelled to the Brandywell to play Derry City last night. It was agreed to play this as part of the deal to bring Paddy McCourt to Celtic. It was also a chance for Paddy McCourt to get a game in a Celtic jersey. The Celtic team was M Brown, Caddis, Conroy, O’Dea, Loovens, Donati, Crosas, Mizuno, McCourt, McGowan and Hutchinson.

Celtic won 1-0 wie another Ben Hutchinson goal and rumours are Massimo Donati ended up playing centre half. 

The Gospel According To Kevin Thomson.

This week oor Mr Thomson, the lesser of the Hibee two and the one wieoot a league winners medal, speaks aboot the tackle that put him oot of Scotland's defeat against Norway....

"He's turned his back and gone in with a straight leg and with his studs showing. It looks as if he knew fine well what he was doing and that's what disappoints me most of all. The injury meant I couldn't play on in a match which we were desperate to win and now it's forced me out of the reckoning for another international cap. He didn't apologise to me after the game so maybe he thinks it was a fair tackle. But having looked at it a few times I think it was poor from a fellow professional."

....this is the same Mr Thomson who last season tried to cheat his way to a penalty and attempted to get a fellow professional sent off in the process. He then came out and lambasted a fellow professional who called him a cheat in the aftermath. Sewer Rats have mair morals than Mr Thomson. In fact Mr Thomson deserves to be tied to a chair, naked on a beach, wie half a fish supper on his heid and we can all watch as seagulls peck his eyes oot.

Cheap Shellsuits For Sale.

The credit crunch has hit the sales of cheap sportswear badly. The BBC reports that the JJB share price has fallen 25% and that insurers will no longer ensure creditors get paid. It also reports...

"It comes a week after JJB reported a £9.7m six-month loss, with its auditors casting "significant doubt" on its ability to continue as a going concern."

...good job no-one sold their merchindise rights to this company or they would be in deep shit. Rumours that David Murray has called George W Bush to promise John McCain the 'Proddie' ex-pat vote if R*ngers are included in the proposed $700 billion bail oot are unconfirmed.

Right, Hail Hails open and I'm off to study the anytime goalscorers for the weekend internationals, eat fish fingers and crispy pancakes.

Forza

Happy Monday to all. Even Huns.

After Motherwell were defeated by Nancy last week it brought up the situation that Scotland could be in their worst position in the European standings for 14 years. The automatic Big Cup place for the league champions, which is us, is in danger due to years of watching Dunfermline, Dundee, Queen Of The South and The Huns get beat of fishermen and waiters in the early rounds of The Big Cup and The UEFA Vase.

This has caused a debate on what the Scottish teams, and the SFA, are doing wrong. Well, allowing Dundee, Dunfermline, Queen of the South and The Huns to qualify in the first place is a problem and maybe teaching youths to keep the ba' for longer than 5 seconds before hoofing it goalwards would be a start but the idea of a 16 team league has been muted again.

I was in favour of this. Livingston and Dundee are no worse than Hamilton or St Mirren. Play each other twice and play the Diddy Cup ties on Saturday's. But..after seeing the apathy, empty seats and lack of quality in the recent visits to CP of Livingston and Hamilton I'm no longer to sure.

Still the chance to watch The Huns getting beat of teams of that ilk is maybe too guid to miss on a regular basis.

3pts and nae fuss.

Celtic beat Hamilton on Saturday, 4-0, wie goals from Nakamura, Samaras, McDonald and McGeady. Goals are here and thanks to 101 Great Goals for the vid. Jan Vennegoor was taken off after injuring himself within 25 seconds, which is even a record for him when he tore his tight muscle, which is moonlighting as his abductor muscle. He could be out for a few weeks.

The game was played like a training game wieoot bibs and cones being involved. Celtic went through the motions, wie the quest to walk the ba' into the back of the net the only interest to the Celtic players, and while some will praise relegation haunted Hamilton for not changing their 4-3-3 formation, it meant that the game passed them by and Celtic didnae need to get oot of 2nd gear.

The highlight of the day was the double penalty save from the Holy Goalie. That passage of play accounted for 2 of the 3 shots Hamilton had on target. Add to their 2 shots off target and 42% possession this was the maist simple 3 points we will get all season.

Celtic, had 58% possession, 11 shots on target and 5 shots off target. Georgios Samaras, Scotland's topscorer, scored his 10th goal of the season, Scott McDonald scored his 3rd, Aiden McGeady his 1st and Nakamura scored his 2nd and created his 3rd goal of this season.

Nakamura has come in for a fair bit of stick recently. His wanting to return home coupled wie a few so-so performaces has meant that some are calling for him to be dropped as he is lacking commitment and his heid is elsewhere.

Load of Boomsung. Anyone questioning Nakamura's commitment should remember that this is the player that spent hours in the gym to ensure he was up for the finer points of the Scottish game. This is a player that has scored many important goals and mair importantly had a hand in many other goals for us in the 3 seasons he has been here.

He is the maist natural talent we have at CP. One that if fit should be the first name on the teamsheet. So he has had a dodgy performace here and there but I think those that are calling for him to get tae are so far off the mark they would as well being on Mars spouting their pish.

The Manager Says..

Not too much off interest really. 

“It was wet and windy and we knew our attitude had to be right. But we played with energy. Aiden worked hard and played well. Nakamura played well and Marc Crosas was fantastic. Barry Robson could have been man of the match while Artur Boruc played his part in the win. They all played well.”

He is having a laugh wie the Barry Robson MOTM comment, as anyone that thinks Robson is a left back probably thinks Newcastle are a well run club. Still Crosas did deserve a mention in dispatches and also McGeady as he won LoTW money.

No-one said why Billy Reid had to speak to the press but he did. 

“Credit to Celtic but I don’t feel we did ourselves justice. “I’ve four or five players sitting gutted in our dressing room because they know they can play better than that.

The game was that boring even the beaten teams manager didnae come oot wie any pish.

"Forget Six Pack, Here is a XXXX Pack"

Sure you can come up wie a better caption than I have. No prize, anyone want to donate one?, just a bit of fun in this International week.

How Do You Sleep......

.....Nacho Novo. He gave an interview to the free Galicia Weekly Newspaper that gets delievered to 3 men and a goat in his hometown where he has been disowned for being the only Hun in the village. The player, who again has been overlooked by Spain, tells tales that would make John Smeaton blush wie the mistruths that are being told.

Surely if his car and property gets attacked everytime he plays against Celtic, The Huns PR department would have this all over the Redtops quicker than Novo steals his best mates burd?

This is just another case of a wannabe uber Hun peddling to the lowest element that pollutes the Hun support. He has also confirmed his place in the Huns Hall Of Shame. I'm sure Celtic fans up and down the country are glad that Nacho disnny feel the need to win trophies wie Celtic.

Gory Tales.

In this boring International week, it is maybe a good time to catch up wie some reading. I know I have a few copies of Razzle to catch up on. But.....I heard a good interview wie John Gorman on Talksport last Friday. Spoke very well about the Quality Street Gang and his disappointment at leaving his bhoyhood team.

Might be worth a read. Then again it might not. It's available here to buy. Or like me just wait until someone else buys it and then borrow it.

Forza

With Man Utd and Villarreal disappearing of into the sunset, to the knockoot stages of the Big Cup, leaving Celtic and Aalborg to have a bun fight for the UEFA Vase place, Celtic's travel sickness reached plague proportions. The reaction of the Celtic support to the expected defeat has been one of non-plussedness. It was an expected defeat, Villarreal are a decent side and it's no disgrace to loss there and we played ok. There was no gross over-reaction.

Have we given up hope of EVER winning away from home in the Big Cup or have we just accepted oor place in the European middle order?

XXXX, Tennents and South American Wine

Scott McDonald when he is not sitting on the bench, bemoaning that he was last seasons Georgios Samaras, is usually found drinking XXXX and having a fag wie his pal Alf, who works in a pub in Edinburgh, like most Aussies. He must have been drinking XXXX before he gave this interview. He says..

 "But there was a lot of encouragement to take from the game, that's probably the most we've created in an away game since I've been here.”

...forgetting the 27 shots Villarreal had on goal but, I think, or I hope he was only comparing them to Milan and Donestk from last season.

He then confirms that he has been on the drink...

“We are bottom of the table with Aalborg, due to drawing with them at home. That's not good but there are still another four games remaining which is a long way to go and it's certainly not over."

...by forgetting oor poor away record and the fact that we have Man Utd in a double heider coming up.

Mick McManus when not captaining Celtic, Scotland or making Gary Caldwell look like a player, is usually found drinking Tennents in Bamboo. He also must have been drinking when he tried to make us believe that we would go and get a result at Old Trafford.

 "We have taken just one point from our first two games but we will go to Old Trafford looking for a result."

But...it is nice to see the players have taken a bit of confidence from the defeat. It's also nice to see them do their bit to boost the flagging Big Cup ticket packages sales by saying we are still in it.

Manuel Pellegrini when not managing teams to 2nd place in La Liga, is usually drinking a fine South American red in his Costa Blanca Villa overlooking Benidorms biggest waterpark. He was also as pished as a Spanish tramp when he said this...

“I thought it was very strange that Celtic played so defensively. They made it easier for us because they chose not to attack."

...he is talking about the same Celtic team that played a 4-2-3-1 formation that contained Nakamura, Aiden McGeady, Shaun Maloney and Georgios Samaras?

Dundee, Hamilton..... 

Hamilton roll into the unfortress like CP on Saturday. It's the first time the teams have met since a 1-0 Diddy Cup victory for Celtic in August 1990. The last time Hamilton were in the SPL, 1988/89, it was the auld Premier League and pre-Lex Gold, and we gave them some gubbings. There is a 7-2 and 8-0. Plus the expected 2-0 defeat to them that the 1989 team were guid at doing. 

They have an impressive 9 points for a team tipped, by me, to be relegated by Santa time but have lost their last 2 league games against Hibs and then Falkirk. Inbetween those defeats they beat Motherwell 2-1 in the Diddy Cup but everyone is beating Motherwell.

They seem to be an attacking side and have a possible 'Futureplayerism' wie James McCarthy whose big move to us or Liverpool did not quite come off. He is a whooping 17-2 to score at anytime during the game.

Celtic will be looking not to suffer a post-Big Cup hangover. Changes will be made. Gary Caldwell will come back in for Glenn Loovens and we may see starts for Jan Vennegor and Marc Crosas. Wie Shaun Maloney and Nakamura not looking their usual selves, they may be 'rested'.

For me Aiden McGeady to score at anytime and a repeat of the 4-0 scoreline that we got against Livingston would make it a happy weekend.

Pishing In A Fish Tank

We haven't had a Hail Hail of the week for a while. Still there is no prize for this apart from the kudos you will get doon the pub when you tell yer mates. So there was a clear winner this week. It came when Mark Viduka lookalike 'Seven' said...

"only criticisms i'd have of strachan would be starting maloney, naka and aiden was too attacking."

..there you have it. A Celtic Fan bemoaning us being attacking. He should go for a beer wie Mr Pellegrini.

Oh The Irony 

I found it quite bemusing that Spurs fans have been reported for alledged 'racist' and 'homophobic' chanting. For a club that is the butt of racist abuse, due to their heritage it seems a bit off. If true.

Also, are The Huns also going to add the 2008 UEFA Vase to the 1992 Big Cup that they have won by default?

So that's it. I'm off to bemoan the fact that in 'Heroes' the character, the cheerleader, disnny wear the cheerleader uniform anymair, which is a shame.

Forza

A good week to you all. A week that begins wie us having a typical Celticesq last minute victory against Aberdeen and we will probably see a typical Celticesq Big Cup away performance in the El Madrigal, which should confirm oor interest in the Big Cup ending.

Still, the decent and the brilliant couldn't last as Celtic turned in a so-so performance meaning a game that should have been over by half time was not won until the last minute and even then 2 points could have still been dropped if Darren Mackie had scored for Aberdeen in injury time when he was through one on one wie Artur Boruc. But he missed. Hurraaaah.

I haven't seen footage of the Fake Tanned Orange Tinged Turnip reaction at this miss but I'm sure somewhere in Celticcybertimdom this footage will be kicking around. Football always has characters that you wish to see suffer. Yesterday, watching Sally McCunist on the touchline wie his shorts on looking like a buffon you just wanted to punch him. On Saturday the G.I.R.U.Y factor was tenfold due to the last minute winner and the fact that the Fake Tanned Orange Tinged Turnip was on the touchline to see this.

Celtic took the lead when Jan Vennegoor scored (here) the opener, an untidy goal that should have been cleared but then, Celtic, Dundee Utd and Wolves reject Charlie Mulgrew proved that you should always beware returning playerism wie 2 goals to put Aberdeen 2-1 up.

In a weekend that Defoe scored against Spurs and Kenny Misser scored against Hibs- 4 goals in under a month must be a record for the money-grabbing wee shit- and he has also scored against us, the thought that if you have a spare half shilling then backing ex-playerism could win you money.

LoTW reckons that Derek Riordan will score against us when Hibs visit CP in a few weeks, Scott Brown will probably score in that game as well, Berbatov will open his Man Utd account when they play Spurs, ditto wie Robbie Keane for Liverpool and what's the chances of Peter Crouch scoring against Liverpool. So if you want to lose money, yer home, yer wife and weans that ex-playerism is worth a punt.

Back to the game. Aiden McGeady and Scott McDonald had been brought on and both pulled us out of the mire. Scott McDonald scored wie a back post heider (here) after an Aiden McGeady cross and Jan Vennegoor kept his record of scoring in the last minute against Aberdeen going when he scored the winner (here) after a great ball from Aiden.

3 points and a victory. Fair play to the manager. He changed the formation to a 4-3-3 when needed, one of the major griped of the anti-Strachanites is he won't change his 4-4-2, and he used his subs well. Still, he was unusally blunt wie his post match comments. He said....

“We didn’t defend well enough but right after the match is not the time to speak to players about that. It’s best to wait a day or two because the dressing room can be a difficult place right after the final whistle. "

.....yes, school boy defending was the cause of this humdinger of a finish. Those who were shouting for Glenn Loovens to get a run will look at his 3-legged elephant who had been shot in the arse wie a big feck off dart type performance and should maybe see the ghost of Rafael Scheidt coming into view. Hopefully the bigman will learn from this welcome to the SPL beasting from Lee Miller but how we missed Gary Caldwell. 

Onto the Big Cup. Villarreal away. A club that doesn't get beat at home in UEFA competition. Celtic have not scored away from home in 4 games and in that spell I don't think we have had a shot on target never mind threatening to get a result. On top of oor terrible Champs League away record we have suffered 8 defeats out of 11 games when we have played in Spain, the other 3 being draws.

Still confident?

Still at least the Villarreal players have showed they are game for a laugh. Man Utd reject, Giuseppe Rossi- who will score for Villarreal against Man Utd- says that Celtic are a team to be feared as Massimo Donati doesn't get a game for us. Joking aside, the article mentions we will play a physical game, I suppose the Scottish style is more physical and that oor away record is poor but that shouldn't come into it.

Mark Wilson talks about the pre-season game in Porto when we stole a 1-0 victory. If the game is like that one then we will be behind the couch for long spells. Wilson will start wie Andy Hinkel injured and will have to be at the top of his game as the nightmare Big Joos had in Porto a few years back is the blueprint for a fullback how not to play the game.

I'm sure the manager will talk some sense in this afternoons press conference. His decisions will centre on his formation and who plays in the middle of the park. Will Barry Robson be fit enough to play, will Paul Hartley come in to sit deep, is Jan Vennegoor the man to play the lone frontman role wie Shaun and Sammy supporting from the flanks or will Aiden get the nod wie Sammy being the lone frontman?

Lots to think about.

So, a happy Monday to all LoTWites. We may have a sore Tuesday night and a moody Wednesday blog.

Forza

Welcome to the weekend LoTW, a weekend that hopefully we feast on 3 points and The Huns drop points at Easter Road after their extra time win in the Diddy Cup game between the 2nd and 3rd best teams in Glesga.

A few things came out of that game. One, why was Pedro 'Ladyman' Mendes not booked for leaving the field of play after his winner, why he isn't booked for being an ugly fleshpig I will never know, and will the we are not sectarian, tartan armylite, socialist leftie Doc Martin wearing students that support the 2nd best team in Glesga, be hammered for singing what they would like to do the Pope, which all Eastern European transvestites, Sasa Papac may apply here, would love to do to Pedro Mendes.

The draw for the Diddy Cup has been made and we travel to Kilmarnock again much to dwarf munching Billy Brown's dismay and the dismay of the Celtic fans. In between describing Jim Jeffries reaction to the draw he thought he would bring up that he thinks Mick McManus "might have battered David Fernandez" if he had dived for a pen.

These two are really the Wallace and Gromit of the SPL. Naw, Wallace and Gromit are loveable these two aren't.

Over on the good side, oor faltering captain has been talking about the groundbreaking rotation policy that oor manager has adapted. He waxes on aboot lots of games to be played and points out that Man Utd and Chelsea leave out players and don't get slaughtered for it. True, the big EPL clubs do chop and change. Liverpool, never have the same team from one week to the next, not tha